That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. For example, when they finally switched on the CERN Large Hadron Collider (LHC) at 08:35 GMT the 10th of September 2008 it was thought it might spawn a black hole and wipe Switzerland off the face of the planet - although that seems to have been pre-empted by Rafael Nadal's Wimbledon victory over Roger Federer on July 6th 2008.....
For years it appears that the Swiss have been secretly testing a mini-LHC, and have been using it to make nano-black holes in Emmental cheese (well how else do they get those holes - there are no traces of worm holes to be seen ~~~)
Switching on the LHC had been planned specifically because of Switzerland's mortal danger of slipping off the world map.
Two vital pieces of evidence for this, apart from a smoking proton were that :-
- The Swiss were maligned by Harry Lime in the film "The Third Man" who cruelly said that 500 years of Swiss democracy and peace had produced nothing more than the cuckoo clock.
- Roger Federer not only lost at the final at Wimbledon, but as a result shortly afterwards slipped down to number two in the world tennis rankings.
The Swiss then apparently decided on an all or nothing approach - if Roger Federer regained his crown by winning the US Open in the beginning of September then they would emasculate the LHC, otherwise on September 10th 2008 we would all disappear into the world dreamed up by two another famous Swiss's H.R. Geiger (of Alien fame) and Albert Hoffman (inventor of LSD)
So don't forget to always keep a towel to hand just in case, plus of course a copy of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - they could both come in very useful !
As of yet nothing has happened, but don't forget, all we have heard so far is the sound of one proton clapping. It is when people start to disappear that you need to concerned, so if the supply of Polish plumbers starts to dry up you will know that it is time to start worrying ....
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