Enquirer

From Mrs Claypool
Date: 20th July 1998
Subject: I have recently been spammed by "Bulls Eye" Marketing, what can I do about it

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Dear Dr Hackenbush,

I put an email address in my Homepage and now all sorts of objectionable people are sending me Spam. How can I stop them (being a well brought up lady I only eat lobster)

Any information that you might have or contacts will be greatly appreciated.

Thanking you in advance

Mrs Claypool

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Dear Mrs Claypool (or should I say 'Wham Bam thank you Spam'),

You have finally made the big time when your homepage on the Web starts to get hit by the spam artists. However although the temptation is to hit "return" and flame away using all the naughty words you can think of, this is a big mistake.

Spammers use forged email addressess and a third party machine to relay spam, so you will not reach the person you intended to!

My friends at that well known firm of Lawyers "Hungadunga Hungadunga Hungadunga and Hungadunga" recommend the following :-

1. Look at the headers at the top of your email message

   e.g? ? >Received: from www.tongil.or.kr

2. Send a message to the postmaster for that domain (all websites are supposed to have an address that mail can be sent to)

   so in this case send it to ? postmaster [at] tongil.or.kr

   and enclose the full text of the message PLUS THE HEADERS AT THE TOP so that they can reconfigure their "sendmail" package to exclude the spammers.

3. If you would like to get in touch with the folks from "Bulls Eye" Marketing, (perhaps to arrange delivery of some finest quality Heavy Metal rich Sewage Sludge) here are a few things you can do to contact them and let them know your feelings !

   • Work address
     Christopher Knight
     World Touch Network Inc.
     5670 Wilshire Blvd. Suite 2170
     Los Angeles, CA 90036
     United States of America
     

   • Home address
     Christopher Knight
     1842 Alvarado,
     Los Angeles, CA 90023
     United States of America
     

   • Contact Telephone numbers
     213-937-0342 Fax
     213-937-9213 Live
     213-937-4100
     213-969-4930
     213-980-7850
     213-427-5820
     323-937-9213 Collect
     

4. To find the details for other Spammers, look at this Website:-

   www.ao.net/waytosuccess/spamaddresses.html

   which lists many of the biggest Spam offenders ( names, phone numbers, office addresses and... home addresses !)

5. A mailing list has also been set up to provide a forum to assist people in the unambiguous identification and legal prosecution of the party or parties going under the name of "World Touch Networks" responsible for the creation and use of the "Bulls Eye" spamming software. If you are interested in joining this mailing list, please send an email message to :-

   • 
     or

   • containing the single word: subscribe in the body of the message.

6. Visit and join CAUCE, an organization pushing for US government legislation intended to help solve the problem of spam, which is at :-

   www.cauce.org

7. One rather radical way of stopping spam is to incorporate a couple of "mailto's" in your homepage that are for prominent people (eg Bill Clinton, or your local elected government official). That way when your webpage gets harvested they will start sending email to Bill Clinton, Tony Blair, Boris Yeltsin etc and once these folk get sick of receiving spam they will do something about it !

   As ever your sarcastic sycophantic servant

   Dr Hackenbush

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Dear Mrs Claypool,

As the recent recipient of 75 spam emails from an outfit called Springbar who according to their marketing blurb are an Office Water Cooler Beverage Vending Machine company. Their homepage tells us that

Springbar's office water cooler is the easy and inexpensive way to provide spring water and hot drinks for any workplace.

The Springbar hot and cold beverage vending machine is a unique bottled water cooler offering purified Ashbourne spring water, Twinings tea and Nescafe coffee in one machine. Promising to revolutionise the supply of hot and cold beverages in the office, the Springbar watercooler is the perfect choice for the company looking for an office beverage vending machine.

At the heart of this new offering from Springbar is a unique, integrated hot and cold drinks dispenser for the office. It delivers in a simple, accessible and cost effective manner, a range of high quality and popular office beverages: Ashbourne spring water, Twinings tea and Nescafé coffee.

Our parent companies, Perrier Vittel and Nestle, have the most stringent of manufacturing and quality assurance standards. Our new, state-of-the-art bottling plant and testing facility have therefore been created to ensure that you always receive the highest quality bottled water.

We are very happy to say that Springbar's email address is now on our homepage, so that way when our website gets harvested (which it does faster than Lord Melshit crossing a GM maize field) these folk will in turn receive spam and eventually they will get sick of receiving it and will do something about it !

Their opt-out is to say " We try to ensure that those people who do not wish to recieve (sic) emails do not recieve them by ensuring our agencies cleanse use the FPS database. If you do not wish to recieve (sic) emails please return an email with UNSUBSCRIBE in the title and we shall remove your email address from the database."

So why are we so uncompromising about receiving spam from illiterate half-wits, well thanks to them we had a system crash and lost most of our email on Thursday 11th April. So if you like spammers give them a call on 0800 279 6969 !! If you think that their techniques are legitimate that you could try using their agency an outfit called 4contacts.co.uk

Zak-n-Bur